Hurricane Irene: The Bust.... I mean Storm of 2011
At this point, Hurricane Irene is a bust.
Reporting live from New Jersey, this intrepid investigator has seen little sign of the storm. Right now there are a few clouds in the sky, no wind, and no rain. People are proceeding their days normally, traveling to work, and not panicking in the streets. All batteries in Northern New Jersey have been bought up by customers, except for those strange 9 Volts that no one seems to need anymore. Customers at the local Shop Rite gave this reporter confused and annoyed looks when asked to respond to the question, "Hey, did you hear about the Hurricane?" and/or "Why is this place so crowded today? I just need my perishable goods."
The lights in this apartment have been flickering, but that's because I keep flipping the switch up and down.
Meanwhile, the snark level is surprisingly low. A quick check of Twitter turns up few jokes about the storm, while Facebook has been overtaken by pictures of babies lying on their backs and people wishing Happy Birthday to people they don't really know.
Continue to check the Writing Block for more updates on this developing story.
Friday, August 26, 10:25 pm:
Irene is still a bust. There's a stiff breeze, but no clouds. The most tragic part of the day wasn't the crowd a Shop Rite, but the fact that the Franklin Steakhouse was out of Harpoon IPA.
Chris Christie has taken on the Jersey Shore telling people to forget their gym trip, forget their tan and forget their laundry and just get the hell out.
The Giants/Jets game has been postpone until Monday when no one will still care.
I'm looking at houses tomorrow. Then watching Doctor Who. And eating a hurricornicopia of food. Should be fun.
Saturday, August 27th, 9:43 am
The skies are overcast. I'm watching the news. Judging by their warnings, here's what I've decided to do before and after the storm:
-Get a box out of my car.
-Eat a bagel sandwich.
-Drink some coffee.
-Grow a beard and really long out of control Braveheart hair.
-Hoard barrels of oil and water for trading after the hurricane.
-Develop my own language to be able to talk in front of the ravagers.
-Sharpen wooden branches.
-Watch Doctor Who.
-Panic. That's what the news wants. Panic.
-Eat mini-hot dogs tonight.
Keep watching this spot!
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