New Jersey, The Promised Land: Fountains of Wayne

You thought I was talking about the band, didn't you?

HA!

Well, I am talking about the band, in conjunction with the actual Fountains of Wayne, a place so glorious that it puts out a giant Santa Claus at Christmas time to wait to the people sitting in traffic to get to the WillowBrook Mall.

The place sells fountains. There never appears to be anyone there. I have never seen anyone not named Tony Soprano show up in the place. But it stays in business. It's tradition it's staying power. It's part of New Jersey lore.

I mean seriously, how many people do you know wake up one morning and say "You know what? I need a fountain?" I don't know many, but it's nice to know that if you did, there's a place in New Jersey to go.

And there's a really fun band named after them to. And half the band members aren't even from NJ, they're from PA and SC. But the bassist--from Montclair--knew the power of naming your band after an NJ icon!

Colorado (#6), I ask you, do you have a place where you can buy fountains and lawn ornament? Yes?

Well do you have a place with a giant Santa Claus which waves at people stuck in traffic?

Really?

I didn't think so.

And even if you did, that place with the Santa didn't have a cool band name itself after you, did it?

No.

That's why you're inferior, Colorado.

You're not "The Promised Land."