Alas, with the beginning of a school year comes change

I don't know if you guys care about this, but I'm going to blog it.

For me, the beginning of a school year is like New Year's and Lent. It's a time to restart, try to lose some weight, or refocus. It's also a time for me to sacrifice some things I love, but know are ultimately bad for me.

Like blogs.

No, not like blogging. I'm still going to keep this going. But my life's about to go from lazy to busy very quickly.

All summer I've been following the blogs, mailing lists, and Twitters. And this summer--more than usual--it's seemed the blogs have exploded in controversy. Whether it's the CSI guy writing a book/movie/seizure waiting to happen. Or certain writers going off on other writers for writing what they feel is a bad book. Or whether a good critique is personal or not.

It was like crack to me. I read every comment, emailed them to other people. Laughed at them, got angry at them, worried about them. And it slowed me way down.

I'm writing two books right now. I'm 90 pages into a standalone and 120 into Donne #3. I have to focus on those. I have to focus on work, my life, my girlfriend, TV shows I missed, reading. All that good stuff.

So I'm cutting it all out. I'm not going to read as many blogs (mostly cutting out the ones that draw drama). I've trimmed CrimeSpot from my bookmarks. I gone "No Mail" on all the mailing lists. I've cut the amount of Twitters I get on my phone down to a few close friends.

It's time. I'll miss it, I'm sure. And hopefully, I'll be back at some point. But for right now I have to refocus.

And let's be honest, what am I going to miss? How many times can I read about "How to Write a Sex Scene" (apparently there are no other scenes to write), or "How Great Ken Breun is" (Ken I love ya and your books, but apparently so does EVERY OTHER BLOG), or the greatness that is Barry Eisler's hair.

I'll keep updating this blog... (Look for updates on sex scenes and Ken) about as often as I usually do. Live blogs of movies. Comments on Rutgers football and basketball. My thoughts on writing, if I have any... I'm just not going to follow everything else.

So... lemme know if I miss something good... will ya?

The GOP reacts to McCain

My Take on the Bill Clinton Speech

I love Bill Clinton. I really do. Would love to have him back in office if possible. And the make can really turn a phrase. So, I'm watching his speech, and I'm gonna comment on what he has to say:

"I love Joe Biden, and America will too." (You should see what he can do with a cigar.)

"That campaign generated so much heat, it increased global warming." (I think Al Gore just ran for cover at that pun.)

"Last night, Hilary said she'd do everything she can to elect Barack Obama. That makes two of us." (Do you think his speech says "stop for applause, drink water, smile, give that Clinton-esque thumbs up?)

"Actually, that makes 18 million of us." (He's probably counting his ego, here.)

"Our position in the world has been weakened by too much unilatertalism and too little cooperation." (I agree. High five, Bill.)

Okay, now he just used some big words that I don't understand about the military, but so far I like what the man is saying. Not to mention he is a damn good speaker, it's like he's just having a one sided conversation. Not giving a speech.

"He (Obama) has the intelligence and curiosity every successful President needs." (Nice, we don't have to worry about him choking on a pretzel!)

Every time Bill says "long, hard" I giggle.

If one of my students ever runs for student council, I'm going to hire Bill to give the speech.

"We cannot be strong abroad, unless we are first strong at home." (I have nothing to comment on this one, I just think it's a good quote.)

Stop, drink water, listen to "Yes We Can" chant.

Then zing 'em with, "but first we have to elect him."

Cool idea complimenting McCain. Didn't see that coming. Oh wait, there's the "but..."

Oooh, BAM! Clinton layeth the smackdown on the Republican party. Go Bill!

I swear Bill just put his hand to his ear Hulk Hogan style.

I am voting Barack Obama. What about you?

My Parents the Marketers

My parents are very proud of me. Or so they keep saying. They really want my books to succeed and they do what they can to help push the book. They--in fact--really want to be my publicists. And my mom, bless her, really wants a beach house. (My comments in bold.)

Here are a few ways they push the book:


-Going to local book stores and looking for the book. If they don't have it, my dad berates the manager saying "This is a local author and there is high demand for this book. Get it out on the tables." (I'm sure after being yelled at the manager is really going to be out searching for those boxed up copies.)

-Going to the local pharmacy, where they have those racks of top ten books, and trying to get them to stock the book. A good idea, yes, but not--as far as I can tell-feasible since the pharmacists don't order the book. When that doesn't work, he has me sign a copy of a picture of myself as if I'm a real celebrity. So, if you go into the local pharmacy there is probably a picture of Jimmy "Super Fly" Snuka, some New York Giants, and myself next to each other. "Clifton Middle Village Pharmacy you rule.--Dave White" (I swear this is true.)

-Sending out mass emails to friends, family, and colleagues to get them to buy the book. (Wait, this is a good idea.)

-Meeting people and telling them about the book. When they politely say they'll look out for it, my dad has been known to say "No, you'll buy it." (That may not be the exact quote, but it's close)

-As soon as I walk in the house, family party, or most recently a WAKE: "I have books for you to sign in the car. Come on, let's do it now." My reply, "Hi, dad." Dad: "Oh yeah, you're life is so tough signing books." (I'm going to stop trying be classy, regarding my family, friends or people who've passed away.)

-Giving out one book to their friends or colleagues in other states and hoping that person can spread the word to the millions of people in the state. (I want my dad to rent a helicopter and drop leaflets.)

-Openly wondering why I am not mentioned on other blogs much. And then threatening to email some of those authors to get them to mention me. (This just happened yesterday, granted it was because my dad wanted Duane and Jason to make fun of me more regarding the Clinton Incident, but still.)

-Giving me a report of everyone they know who has ever purchased the book, seen the book in the bookstore, or taken the book out of the library. Then also giving me reports of my other family members who have gone into bookstores and harassed the managers and sales people into stocking my books. Then buying all the books they had in stock so they can re-sell those books to their friends. (The only thing that bothers me about this is they don't put it in writing.)

-Wondering what a twitter is and asking how it can help sell books. (It probably can't, but it's fun.)

-Trying to clean up this blog. They want me to stop telling funny stories about myself because it's not classy. (AKA wheelbarrow at the wedding, author faux pas). (Because really, who wants to buy a book from a funny author?)

-Giving copies of the book to everyone they meet.

My parents care, I'll give 'em that much. I love them and I honestly appreciate what they've done for my career.

So, please, help us out. Go buy the books. My mom really, really wants the beach house. Look at the extent they'll go to get it.

PS: Hey, mom, dad, I know you read this. If after reading this, you're going to stop doing what you're doing thinking "That'll teach him," it won't. I mean seriously, how many times have you told me to clean my room when I was a kid. Did I listen?

Love ya.

Live Blogging: Transformers

Looking for a mindless movie to start watching and this was On Demand. So, awayyyy we go.

7:45: What did Optimus Prime mumble about a cosmic cube? Huh?

7:46: Soldier wants to hold his baby girl. Think he's dead? Yeah, prolly.

7:47: Michael Bay movies. Explosions, military, more explosions, catch phrases, gun fire, more expolisions. Good stuff.

7:48: Uhhh, 3 minutes no explosions. What the hell?

7:50: Oh this guy is so dead. SOOOOOOOO DEAD. "She doesn't know you yet, but she will." Wow. I hope he gets his arms torn off by robots.

7:51: My other favorite part of Michael Bay movies, unnecessary exposion. Like a soldier yelling out "We're under attack!" when the audience can see everything blowing up around them.

7:53: Okay, this movie is all over the place. Shia, then an arctic circle explorer. Funny seamen jokes. Oooh, Megan Fox.

7:57: Bernie Mac (RIP) where is this movie going? It's like "On a very special Transformers... LOTS OF GUEST STARS!"

7:59: Jon Voight? This movie is freakin' bizarre. Ooh, there we go. Some snarky comments. I've now settled into a Bay movie.

8:05: Well Megan Fox doesn't need to talk in this movie, just look dreamy. Oh, wait... there she goes, she was able to mumble a few syllables.

8:07: Megan Fox explains her character. Her weakness for hot guys. Blah, blah, blah. Did they just take a military script, a teen movie script, and a sci-fi sript and then sew them haphazardly together? Oh, wait there's her midrift... what was I talking about?

8:11: I think there's a lot more than meets the eye with you. I think I just vomited in my mouth. AND HE SAYS IT AGAIN!

8:17: It sure is taking a long time for shit to blow up in this movie (from here on out STBU). I mean by this point in The Rock, we had car chases, shootouts, and a hostage situation.

8:20: Okay this movie is just freakin' bizarre. Shia chasing a car on his bike. Yeah, that's believable (he says while watching a movie about robots who suddenly look like cars.)

8:40: What is going on here with the cops? Ooooh, we're back in the Middle East. I can't believe the new father is still alive.

8:42: Ah here we go Michael Bay. Slow motion, jumping robots, gunfire. I feel much better.

8:43: Who knew you could just call the Pentagon on a cell phone from the Middle East. At least the stereotypical Indian operator is giving Unnamed Dead Guy a hard time.

8:47: From now on, when I want to bomb something I'm going to say "Bring the rain." Because I'm Bay like that.

8:48: Perhaps I was wrong about soldier with baby. We're going to get a tearful reunion instead. And of course there's only one hacker in the world who can break that code. And he's doing his best Will Ferrell in Wedding Crashers impression.

8:51: I think I'm going to coin a new phrase. "Bay like that." For example: Stereotypical fat black guys running and screaming and talking about their grandmamas? Bay like that.

8:52: Completely forgot Megan Fox was in this movie. And she has a moped. Seriously, how is this movie this confusing? It should be just explosions.

8:55: Er, Sam/Shia really ends up trusting that car very quickly, after spending all afternoon believably thinking the car is possessed. I can't believe the parts of this movie I'm having trouble with have nothing to do with robots.

8:57: So, are Optimus Prime and Megatron even in this movie?

9:01: Wow, let's just steal all the music from every popular.. I can't even explain this movie just takes what it thinks is popular and is smashing it together like a Cold Stone Creamery ice cream order.

9:03: "This is easily 100 times cooler than Armageddon." Nice try. Nice try, Michael Bay.

9:05: Hey, we have an Optimus sighting. Halfway through the freakin' movie.

9:06: Oh, God. Seriously worst... worst movie... EVER. WORST MOVIE EVER.

9:09: Exposition. After this we need a freakin' Robot blow up STBU shootout.

9:14: Optimus Prime just said "Sorry, my bad." Why does my mouth taste like puke?

9:16: All this movie needs is Roger Moore and it becomes as campy as a bad Bond movie.

9:20: McKayla or Kayla? I just now though to ask whether or not to ask what Megan Fox's character name in the movie is.

9:25: So now Megan Fox is a juvy? What was the point of that? Because the FBI agent needed something on her? This is awful. Makes no sense. But I will fulfill my duty as a live blogger and see it through.

9:26: Did he really just pee oil on John Tuturro? Who enjoys this movie? Oh, wait both my roommates. They're Bay like that.

9:36: Shia gets a laugh as he says "Who knew?" but I ask you... what is this movie even about?

9:40: Hey Megatron is still Frozen.

9:41: WHY AREN'T THINGS BLOWING UP??????? BLOW SOMETHING UP! I HAVEN"T EVEN BEEN ABLE TO USE THE PHRASE STBU yet. ARRGGHH.

9:46: That little thing talks like an Ewok. Still no explosions.

9:48: So they were after a cosmic rubix cube. They're going to hide the cube in the city. Yeah that sounds like a good idea. Seriously. Yeah, do that. That won't cause trouble.

9:54: The action is finally starting and I'm finding myself bored as hell. I'm not Bay like that.

9:55: Where did Optimus Prime get a giant sword? Michael Bay, the exposition king (probably because it's so close to explosion) can't explain that?

10:00: Yeah, let's hide the "cosmic cube" in the city. Morons.

10:03: Wasn't Megatron a giant gun in the cartoon show? (Which, by the way, was much more coherent than this movie.)

10:07: "I'll drive you shoot." You actually had to stop the car to say that? People are DYING and you stopped.

10:12: Even Bay isn't Bay like That anymore. Computer generated explosions? Whatever.

10:17: Wait, Megatron and Optimus Prime are brothers? Or was that just a turn of phrase? Soldier with a baby survived. Megan Fox still attractive when silent. But Jazz died. Awwww, he talked silly.

10:20: Optimus Prime needs to just shut up. Okay, yeah more to them than meets the eye, blah blah blah... Lame. Can't wait for the equally lame sequel.

Of Flying, Houston, Clinton, and the "Other Dave White"

Well for the first time in nearly eleven years, I flew last Thursday. To say I was nervous was an understatement. Jason Pinter and I were flying to Houston to speak at Murder By the Book with Marcus Sakey.

Once I got on the plane, my knees quivered and according to Pinter, I was either mumbling to myself or he though I was going to throw up. But I toughed it out. After two short flights, many delays, and apparently the rainiest day in Texas history, we made it to Houston.

It took us an hour to get to the store, with a cab driver who laughed at such things as ivy and graffiti ("Have you every see anything like that, haw haw haw?" "Yes, we're from New York and New Jersey.") We finally got to the store and had a decent turn out despite the rain. Thanks to Bill Crider, there was video:



Each of us had our own demons to overcome, Marcus and the Strand Award, Jason and the fly... and me and flying...

Afterwards, we went out for TexMex and margaritas (or as I ordered, after getting back to the table.. "Um, I'll just have what Marcus is having.")

We got back the next day, my flying fears getting better with each flight--(we had to take for Newark to Charlotte, Charlotte to Houston, Houston to Charlotte, Charlotte to Newark)... though my eyes were squeezed shut for each landing. Definitely a worthwhile trip as we sold some books and I was able to take steps towards getting over my biggest fear... (Well second maybe to being eaten by a Hammerhead Shark.)

On the plane ride, I read three books:

Chercover's Trigger City: A great PI novel and follow up to Dudgeon's debut. Recommended.

Sakey's Good People: I read this in two hours. I never do that. Read it just for the Gengis Khan scene.

and

Simon Kernick's Relentless: Kernick's everyman thriller. Fast paced, violent and exciting, with great plot twists.

Friday night, Jason and I met up with Duane Swierczynski to sign at the Clinton Book Shop. After grabbing drinks at a local Irish joint, we made our way to the store. I walked in first.

"Hey, you're neck's not that red," the store owner said.

"Um, yeah I guess not," thinking he meant my trip to Houston.

"Yeah, but you were robbed."

"What?"

"The book," he said, "it's really, really funny. Better than Sedaris."

And then he held up a copy of Exile in Guyville: How a Punk Rock Redneck Faggot Texan Moved to West Hollywood and Refused to Be Shiny and Happy.

Yeah. My face turned beat red.

"Oh my God, you just made my night," Duane said.

I think Jason may have pumped his fist.

I started laughing and said, "That's not me."

The owner smiled and said, "Well, people think you're coming, so you better pansy up."

And the night's tone was set. We sat outside, signed some books, watched some low flying bats, and an odd Peter, Paul and Mary rip off band. When we left, Duane, Jason and I took a photo and I signed EXILE IN GUYVILLE as "Dave 'Not Me' White."

A great few days.

Updates

Peter sums up Noir at the Bar III.

Gerald So gives The Evil that Men Do thumbs up.

New Jersey, The Promised Land: Alcoholic Purchases

In New Jersey, it's easy to get beer. Very easy, you walk into a liquor store and you buy beer. In New Jersey, it's easy to get big bottles of wine. You want into a liquor store and you buy a big bottle of wine. In New Jersey, it's easy to get bottles of hard alcohol. You walk into a liquor store and buy hard alcohol.

However, in other states, such as Georgia (#10)... you have to traipse all over the place to get these items. Want beer? Gas station. Want wine? You have to buy a really small bottle. Want hard alcohol... good luck, now you have to track down a liquor store or an ABC (huh?) Store.

It's a pain in the butt.

New Jersey, it's all in one really nice place. Get it all at once.

Other states, head all over the universe to get it.

New Jersey Rules.

Georgia? Feh, what do they have? Heat? Cities that were once burned down? And lots of hassles.

New Jersey, Still the Promised Land.

Don't Forget!!! TOMORROW NIGHT!!!

Noir at the Bar III

Featuring me, reading and then answering questions from the one, the only Sarah Weinman.

Then on Thursday Jason Pinter, Marcus Sakey and I will be attending, reading, talking, whatevering at Murder by the Book in Houston.

And finally Friday Duane Swierczynski, Jason and I will be at the Clinton Book Shop in Clinton, NJ for more of the same!

Check the sidebar for more info!

Book Review: The Given Day by Dennis Lehane

Lehane hasn't written a book in five years. The Given Day is his return to fiction.

It is a big book, both in length (700 pages) and scope. Set in late 1918-1919, the book follows two men, one Irish Boston cop Danny Coughlin and a black man from Tulsa Luther Laurence. The book explores race, baseball, the Boston Police Strike, terrorism, love, and a whole mess of other topics.

It is a huge book, and it is beautifully written. I could not put it down.

The major complaint about this book, I feel, is going to be the amount of coincidences that drive the plot along. The first of this coincidences I found rather jarring, but as I moved along I realized that this is a Dickensian novel. Lehane seems to be giving his best Dickens impression, coincidences and all.

A wonderful novel that is at once a crime story, a love story, and a political thriller. Historical fiction at it's finest.

The prologue is one of the best baseball short stories I've ever read.

The Yankees, Mike and the Maddog, and summer vacation (almost)

It's Over

Well, not the Olympics today. As much as I'd like to whine about the Spain basketball pictures (have you ever see... wait wait wait... I'll stop!)

The Yankees however. This is the year they miss the playoffs. They can't hit in the clutch. I think nearly everyone of their pitchers not named Mussina or Pettite has gotten hurt. A Rod is Old (as in 2006) Rod. Posada is hurt. Cano is worried about stylin'. Melky Cabrera is... curdled.

At least I'll be able to catch up on TV in October.

I May Become The Olympics Official Whiner

Review first: Went to see STEP BROTHERS last night. Typical Will Ferrel fare. Hilarious, crude, rude and dragged a little in the middle. But definitely had me cracking up at points. (Especially during the dream sequences at the end.)

When we got home, my girlfriend put on the Olympics. (This is for all you people who keep wonder why I'm watching it. She likes it, and we flip back and forth between that and the Yankees.)

I have more issues with this competition.

Last night, I had problems with the swimming. Yeah, I know I said I liked the relay, because that was cool. And it was. But now it's gotten ridiculous.

Seriously, what's the point of having world records?

Every freakin' race a world record is broken. I mean, it's not even impressive. It's expected. There's obviously something wrong here. It reminds me of baseball between 1998 and 2001 where everyone and their mother was hitting fifty home runs and someone got close to or broke the 60 home run mark. And we all know why those players did that.

I mean, the swimmers are already wearing these bionic speedos. So what's the point of having world records? I mean, there should be an asterisk around this year's swimming competitions.

And the announcers. They don't care about the race. All they care about are the world records. If it were up to the announcers, the swim competitions would be one guy in the pool racing with that stupid world record line.

And don't get me started on the record line. Maybe it's just my vision, but it looks like every time a world record is broken, but closely... the LINE BEATS the swimmer. Like when the French dude won last night. Seriously.

Anyway, we turned it off to watch the Yankees game before the Gymnastics started. Which was good because I cannot take Al Trautwig calling those moments. He puts the stakes up there with the importance of Russia vs. Georgia peace negotiations.

And then, while there were no events going on, we had to watch lady with really deep voice go around and learn about pandas. And then she started messing with the people who raise the pandas, asking if they fed them chocolate to get them in the ... mood to mate.

We were calling it panda porn as we were watching.

UGGGHHH.

I'm going to see Wilco play tonight in Brooklyn. So, I won't have anything to whine about tomorrow.

FASHION SHOW SCANDALS!!!

Ah, those wily Chinese. After putting on a Fashion Show (oh, wait I'm sorry Olympic Opening Ceremony) that was worthy of everyone oooh-ing and ahhh-ing. (I was too, but that was just indigestion.) It turns out They lied!!!

The little girl who starred at the Olympic opening ceremony was miming and only put on stage because the real singer was not considered attractive enough, the show's musical director has revealed.

I can't wait until NBC does a profile on the actual singer. Bob Costas goes through the whole song and dance of the little girl's rise to power and then hits you with that old Behind the Music damning phrase... "But then... it was deemed her teeth were crooked."

And then:

Supposedly live pictures of fireworks depicting footprints moving from central Beijing's Tiananmen Square to the Olympic stadium in the north of the capital were actually partly computer-generated or pre-recorded for TV, organisers have admitted.

Just another moment for the Olympics to overcome. Now that I think of it, no wonder NBC is picking up the Olympics. There is Olympic Interest too (much like the human interest). NBC can tell the story of how the Beijing Olympics overcame enormous odds to become a competitor for Greatest Olympics Ever.

I mean let's face it... This Olympics is not even a week old and it's had the exact things NBC is looking for in a background. Scandal, death, lying, now we just have to wait to find out which Chinese competitor cheated.

UPDATE: There's even been a ticket scam!!! NBC is probably peeing their pants with excitement.

UPDATE 2: We have rumors of cheating!!! A boxing judge has been accused of favoring the Chinese!

Update 3: This boxer apparently thought he was on The Price is Right. I can see the background story on his life. "Everything was going well for said boxer. But then he decided to listen to the wrong people. Instead of his teachers, he listened to the street. Instead, of the traffic report, he listened to the weather. Can this boxer listen to his coaches when it counts and get a medal?" Answer: No.

I'm Kind of Immature

The Herald News interviewed me, and noted my maturity level and my inability to leave my home town. I love this article!

Why I Don't Like the Olympics

Time for my annual rant!

I stayed up last night and watched the swimming relay race thing. That was pretty cool. It was a great race, exciting, and we really took it to the trash talking French. Yeah, I was kind of into it.

For a minute.

But then the coverage continued (or for that matter started before the race.) The problem with the Olympics is most of the events are over in less than five minutes. They are built on speed and individual performance. So, they're short.

And that brings me to why I dislike the Olympics.

1) Few team sports. Yeah there's USA basketball, volleyball, water polo, and--I think--baseball. But, I can't ever find them. The basketball team is on at 8 in the morning because of the time difference, but that is probably the worst of the team sports... because it's a bunch of NBA-ers. So it's all show time and little team play (I'd imagine, judging by the regular NBA). Plus Coach K is the coach and he coaches Duke. 'Nuff said.

2) Gymnastics, gymnastics, gymnastics. It's not a sport. I'm sorry. It's not. Yes, it takes talent. But it's not a sport. It's dance. I don't like competetive dance. And then watching Bela Lugosi (or whatever the heck his name is) telling Bob "I'm starting to look like a corpse with Make-up" Costas how the US is better off in second place. Yeah, Bela, that makes as much sense as you having sideburns in the 21st century.

3) The individuality of it all. I like my sports to have team play. That's why I liked the relay... it wasn't Michael Phelps quest for 8 gold medals, it was about the USA team. (Though the media wanted it to be. They only talked about the trash talk and Phelp's quest. PHELPS ISN"T EVEN THE FREAKIN' CAPTAIN OF THE TEAM.)

4) The over analyzing of it all. I don't need to know that Lezak and Frenchie LOOKED at each other in the water. REALLY, I don't. Who cares? WHO FREAKIN'CARES? I want to see the race. I want to see it close and I want it to be exciting.

5) The human interest of it all. This is the worst part. The absolute worst part. First off, it's freakin' depressing. It seems that everyone who's made the Olympics has a kid with a disease, a dead wife, father or relative, or has survived a horrible car accident or something. And I don't want to hear about it. I don't want to cry. I don't want to feel super sad watching these things. It's not reality TV show. It's sports. Show me the events. Show me the good events. I don't want to know every little detail of these people's rough lives. Do the athletes have to pass a "Will this be interesting to the viewer" screening process by NBC?

I don't want Al Trautwig to go on and on about the girl being the "Lukin Zone" (have you ever heard a more ridiculous statement?). Every time he said her name, all I could think was this.

Yes, I feel bad for these people. It's sad. I don't wish pain on anyone. But I shouldn't have to be shown this every ten minutes. I want upbeat. I want happy. I want sports. I don't need a good cry. And I definitely don't need to know how historic it is that the US basketball team went to the Great Wall of China. Seriously, shouldn't they be practicing and not sight seeing? I don't need you to give me a rooting interest. I'm an American. I route for the USA. ARRGGGHHH. You have too much downtime on these things and they fill the air with CRAP. Yeah, I don't need to see this on NBC, I'll rent it when it's made into a heartwarming Disney film starring: Marky Mark or Terrance Howard.

6) The Fashion Show. I mean the opening ceremonies. Yeah, it's a fashion show with fireworks. Whoop de doo.

Yeah, so I'm not a big Olympics guy.

Noir at the Bar III RESCHEDULED!!

So, after all the circumstances beyond my control... things have now been worked out.

NOIR AT THE BAR III will be Tuesday August 19 at 6:30 pm. It will still be held at the Tritone Bar in Philadelphia.

One change has happened, however. It appears that the legendary Ed Pettit will not make it to the gig in time to interview me. So, I have gone out recruiting and brought in the equally as legendary Sarah Weinman to do the job.

Anyway, I hope you can make it!

Oh, Canada

Sometimes, the places reviews come from surprise you. I mean, let's face it, I'm no longer allowed in the country by all accounts.

Yet, apparently they love me. the Winnipeg Free Press reviews my novel The Evil That Men Do. This review has probably my favorite review quote ever, saying:

He's also one of the best new crime writers to come out of the U.S. of A. Feel free to hate him.

and, about the novel, saying:

But, with Donne's return as a beery, now-defrocked gumshoe in a fresh, compelling twist on the sins-of-the-fathers crime theme, White has hit one out of the park in The Evil That Men Do.

Thank you very much, Mr. Sullivan. I would thank you personally, but alas... I can't.

Live Blogging: The Bank Job

(SPOILERS AHEAD)

This movie looked pretty interesting. Jason Stratham tries to rob a bank and gets caught up in all sorts of hubbub. So, after the previews are over, we'll get going.

10:51: Movie opens with a topless girl swimming in the ocean. 1970. We're off to a good start.

10:52: Hm. Then twenty seconds later flashes ahead to 1971. Ooh, thick UK accents.

10:54: "People call us cartoon pigs behind our backs?" "Well they're not gonna say it to your face!" HA.

11:03: Sorry got caught up watching YouTube. They're going to hit some guy. Fun times. "And if it all goes pear shaped?" What a phrase.

11:11: This movie is kinda of weird. All the scenes are extremely short and I keep missing out on what's going on. The fact that I keep having to pause it probably hurts my comprehension.

11:13: How come I never go to bars where you have to wear tuxedos?

11:14: Is that supposed to be... John Lennon in the background?

11:17: Pretty good 70s soundtrack to this flick.

11:19: Okay, so as far as I can tell, this movie is about a lot of important people getting their pictures taken as they're doing it. Naturally, I'm enjoying the film.

11:21: Never trust the guy who dances with the hot girl who's in charge. Somehow I'm expecting a double cross from KEVIN.

11:25: "Don't worry about Martine, she's solid." Alarm bells are going off. RING RING RING. All sorts of double cross alarms here.

11:36: As you can tell, not much is going on. A lot of digging. I do love the poster of this film though.

11:41: "'Ey. No names." "Sorry, Dave." Ah, that old gag.

11:48: Ah, the 70s. A HAM radio operator overhears the robbery. That's rich.

11:53: Okay, having sex or even kissing in the bank vault when you're trying to rob it... Probably not a smart idea.

11:56: I love how "Based on a True Story" immediately allows for coincidence in a movie.

12:00: This is what happens when you take time to celebrate with champagne before you get out. Not caught yet, but still.

12:06: Nice, let's 'splain everything.

12:11: This movie needs the principal from Ferris Bueller as the owner of the bank. That would be hilarious. You know like if he flipped out when he found his bank was robbed? Comedy of the highest caliber.

12:13: "Jesus wept!" Best exclamaition of bad shock ever. I think I'm going to start using that.

12:25: The thing about this movie. There's a lot of characters, and while I'm not having trouble keeping track of them, I'm having trouble keeping track of how they're all related to the bank robbery. This movie probably demands more of my attention. It's good though.

12:29: Looks like I mistrusted the wrong bank robber.

12:34: Now MI5 was involved. Well actually, MI5 was involved real early on. But I got them confused with the cops. So, I guess I'm not keeping track of characters. Oy.

12:38: Never mess with the Porn King of London.

12:40: Correction, the Porn King of Soho. Eh, you probably dont' want to mess with either of them. Also, sometimes I forget plastic bags are dangerous. Glad there are movies to remind me.

12:43: Hm. Seems like an inopportune time to ask if your hubby is cheating on you.

12:46: Wow, she's not smart, for a "spy."

12:51: Why would you trust "the Crown?" A lot of misplaced trust in this film.

1:00: Well, it all works.

Tonight, Tonight, Tonight, Whoa-oh

Well, if you have nothing else going on tonight, you can catch me chatting up the Science Fiction Society of Northern New Jersey at 8 pm. I'll be speaking at the Borders on Route 17 in Ramsey. Check it out, it should be a good time.

And if you're early, I'll probably be grabbing a thin crust pie and a brew or two at Kinchley's before hand.

Forgotten Books Friday: A MORNING FOR FLAMINGOS

My dad and mom let me read this James Lee Burke novel when I was in seventh grade. It was probably my first foray into the world of hardboiled fiction.

I can't really remember the story. Something about Dave Robicheaux transporting a criminal, who escapes. Dave, who I believe is recovering, still, from the death of his wife has to go and hunt the guy down.

But that's not what stuck with me from that book. In fact, I really don't remember it. I remember the experience of reading it. Being drawn into a more adult world and not quite understanding it. But finding a love for the way the story was told. A great intro into something that would become a passion.

The only part of the story I remember... Dave at some point gets hit in the groin. The doctor tell him to keep it in his pants for a while. My thought, as a 7th grader? Why does the doctor want Dave to pee in his pants for the next few days?

Things I Learned at the Supermarket Today

(And to and from the supermarket.)

-People who drive between 10:30 am and 2:30 pm have absolutely no place to be and no need to drive anywhere faster than 10 miles below the speed limit. They also do not like to make turns from stop signs even when there is no traffic coming in either direction. They like to sit there, you know, in case the car at the county line decides to speed up.

-When construction is being done on the parking lot and it is already difficult to move around, people don't like to pull all the way into the parking spaces. That way, only a bicycle can get through the driving lane.

-The trashbags are not where you would expect them to be. They are not with any other cleaning items. No, they are with the frozen food items and tin foil.

-Never get on the shortest line at checkout. Usually someone with a ridiculously large shopping order is arguing with the cashier over the sale items. And when the cashier tries to make the person happy by substituting another item for the sale item, that will still not be good enough. Because the person who is purchasing the ridiculously large order and is missing the sale item doesn't need anything. They are out to slow you do. (This is a corollary to the driving incident.)


-When the person arguing with the cashier gets off the line to see if they have any more of the sale item, he will come back five minutes later. When he does come back, the 3 year old in the carriage between you and the customer arguing with the cashier, will inexpliccably try to attack the guy who is arguing with the cashier. The child will scream, grab and slap at the guy. Now, the guy will not try to speed up and get by the child, he will instead stand there while the mother of the child is in la-la land reading the lastest Enquierer cover.

-The manager will always get involved. He will finally talk the angry guy into substituting, go get him whatever the substitute is, and put it on his bill. However, neither the cashier nor the manager will have any idea on how to ring up the substituted item and will stare at the buttons for a long period of time. This will completely satisfy the angry guy, because he will have wasted 20 minutes of everyone else's time.

-It will be impossible for you get on any other line, because everyone will want to pay at that moment and make the other lines ridiculously long. And you will tell yourself, "They'll settle this in a moment. No problem." Of course those lines move faster than a rumba line.

-Once the child is done attacking the guy arguing with the cashier. The guy will finally pay and get off the line, leaving you room to put your items on the converyer belt. The child will then try to steal your items, whether they be turkey, trashbahgs, Advil, or water. The mother of the child will be too concerned about paying for her two gallons of milk (that's all she got--two freakin' gallons), that she won't care that her child is trying to steal your food. That will leave you to try and discipline the three year old as nicely as possible. And we all know, that never works.

-Every route you try to take home will either be blocked by children on bikes, a slow driver, or construction. What was meant to be a quick five minute trip to the supermarket will end up taking you forty minutes. And you'll feel blessed that it was ONLY forty minutes.

Rutgers AD responds

A week or so ago, I wrote a blog entry regarding the Star Ledger's attack on the Rutgers football team and department and how it handled Coach Greg Schiano's contract.

Rutgers AD has responded, writing editorials for several newspapers. Please note, he refutes nearly every point of the Ledger's investigation.

FINALLY

Someone else sees what I've known all along.

(Make sure you read the part under "Jersey Author Spotlight")

Hopefully you can make it!

PS: Almost family member and fellow crime writer Jan Brogan interviews me at Jungle Red Writers.

I Know You've Been Craving It!

More WHEELBARROW!

When Can I Get a Book Commercial...

As well acted as this one? Johnny Damon is a subtle genius, though he does need to learn the difference between "a," "uh," and "an."

Shamus Nominees!

Sarah just blogged them, so I guess they're official. The Shamus Nominees have been announced by the Private Eye Writers of America:

BEST NOVEL

Thomas Cavanagh, HEAD GAMES (St. Martin's Minotaur)
Reed Farrel Coleman, SOUL PATCH (Bleak House Books)
Declan Hughes, THE COLOR OF BLOOD (William Morrow)
Michael Koryta, A WELCOME GRAVE (Thomas Dunne/SMP)
William Lashner, A KILLER'S KISS (William Morrow)

BEST FIRST NOVEL

Brett Battles, THE CLEANER (Delacorte)
Bill Bryan, KEEP IT REAL (Bleak House Books)
Sean Chercover, BIG CITY, BAD BLOOD (William Morrow)
Dave White, WHEN ONE MAN DIES (Three Rivers Press)
Michael Wiley, THE LAST STRIPTEASE (Thomas Dunne/SMP)

BEST PAPERBACK ORIGINAL

Richard Aleas, SONGS OF INNOCENCE (Hard Case Crime)
Kelley Armstrong, EXIT STRATEGY (Bantam)
Linwood Barclay, STONE RAIN (Bantam)
Max Allan Collins, DEADLY BELOVED (Hard Case Crime)
David Corbett, BLOOD OF PARADISE (Mortalis)

BEST SHORT STORY

Loren Estleman, "Kill the Cat" (DETROIT NOIR, Akashic)
Loren Estleman, "Trust Me" (AHMM)
James Nolan, "Open Mike" (NEW ORLEANS NOIR, Akashic)
Cornelia Read, "Hungry Enough" (A HELL OF A WOMAN, Busted Flush Press)
Marilyn Todd, "Room for Improvement" (EQMM)


Congrats to all the nominees. I am really, really psyched!!!

Passing the Torch

So Manny Ramirez has been traded. And all of Yankee land is rejoicing. He's gone, he's on the West Coast. We probably won't hear all that much about him, what with the East Coast bias and everything.

Unfortunately, that means we'll be missing out on "Manny being Manny." The loveable things he did like going into the green monster to use the bathroom. Or forgetting which knee of his was apparently injured.

We need someone knew with that sort of wackiness. Someone to take over the name "Manny being Manny." Sort of. So, as I've Twittered and Facebooked, I'd like to nominate someone to take over.

Me.

Yes, me. Every time I do something wacky, I ask that it be called "Just Davey being Davey."

Some examples:

Author Faux Pas? Davey being Davey.





"Davey Being Davey."



"Davey Being Davey" "Jason, clearly irritated."



"Davey being Davey." "Troll: The Gnome being Troll: The Gnomey."



"Davey being Davey." "Gerald gets hit with chair."

Another Interview

The Jersey Journal asks me lots of questions.