Airplane Revisions

As has been stated on this blog multiple times, I am afraid of flying. Like total freak out, panic attack, hyperventilating afraid...

And as I'm about to start another round of revisions, the feeling is the same. Well, not exactly... I haven't hyperventilated yet.. but I have obsessed over it. The amount of stuff I have to change... the bits and pieces of characters that have to change throughout the novel, the amount of words I'm going to have to cut, how long it's going to take. It all goes through my mind over and over again. And the worst part is, I realize it's all my fault, I messed up, and I should have seen this all months ago and fixed it then.

It's all I think about.

Here's the funny thing... This summer, when I flew to Cancun, once I got on the plane, I really relaxed. They kept bringing me drinks... the flight was smooth, I had books to read and my fiancee was sitting next to me in case things got bad. And it wasn't anywhere near as bad as I expected. That's not to say next time the same feelings won't occur, but it's something to keep in mind.

And I know the same thing will happen with revisions. It's always worse when you're thinking about it. Once I slip into the text and start changing things, it just becomes work. It's less frustrating... I'm doing it, I'm making the changes and in a few weeks I'll be done. And if things are bad, my agent is there with me to answer any questions and help out (And now he'll probably kill me for comparing him to my fiancee. And if he doesn't, my fiancee will probably kill me for comparing her to my agent...)

So, into the abyss I go again. I won't freak out, and when I'm done I'll be somewhere I haven't been before. Something new will be within my grasp....