Ryan Adams Rules

Flipping Out by Marshall Karp

The other day when doing his "New Jersey the Promised Land" post, Marshall Karp asked me to review his book. Actually, I think he told me to tell you the book is better than THE DaVINCI CODE. Well, with all the uproar over THE LOST SYMBOL, I'm not even going to touch that one.

But I did read Flipping Out.

Fun book.

When the wife of a cop friend of police partners Lomax and Biggs is murdered, the duo catch the case. What follows is a series of funny twists and turns, ultimately leading to a tricky ending.

The draw here is clearly the main characters. Playing like a well adjusted version of Riggs and Murtagh, Lomax and Biggs wisecrack their way through the case. Their banter is well done and each character feels comfortable in their own skin. I enjoyed watching the two peel the layers away with each passing clue.

If you're looking for a fun read, with plenty of one-liners, check this one out.

Fear

I'm afraid of flying.

Like palms sweaty, knees shaking, mumbling to myself scared. Ask Jason Pinter, he witnessed it first hand. Sitting on the plane, I woke the poor guy up at every sound. And every non sound (like the engines shutting down).

The night before I couldn't sleep. I couldn't think about anything else. I had convinced myself the plane was going to crash. All because when I was a kid (third grade, I think) I was on a plane that flew through a storm. People were puking and screaming. One of my clearest memories was the woman behind me suddently yelling out "I NEED A BAG!!" and my mom reaching in front of her, grabbing a puke bag and just flipping it into the seat behind her. It was not fun. And then I waited way too long to fly again--until freshmen year of college. And then once more--through 9/11--until last summer. The fear sits in my gut. Occasionally it flares up.

I went to get a passport last weekend and got nervous. The guy taking my picture kept telling me to calm down. And I thought I was handling it well. I'm supposed to fly to Cancun this summer. I'm less nervous than I was this time last year, but I'm still nervous.

What does this have to do with anything?

Well, it came into play with my current novel. It's becoming my most personal novel. In it, the main character has a fear, though it's not a fear of flying. The fear--of course--pops up several times in the novel.

Did I look up symptoms of this fear? Well, not exactly. I looked up causes, triggers. And then I used my own feelings. I tried to remember what it felt like to approach the plane. What it felt like to be sitting on the plane as it lifted off.

Then I applied it to the scene in the book. And I hope it comes through as real and knowing. I want to use my own emotions at every turn. Because if I use my own, then I know those emotions are real. They have to be, they're what I'm feeling.

Obviously, that's a lot of "write what you know"-itis.

At the same time, it's a way for me to deal with things. Writing is my psychologist. Writing is my way to vent and to deal with my own issues.

I put a lot of me in my books. I put a lot of me in the blog.

Writing helps.

And, with flying, I need all the help I can get.

New Jersey: The Promised Land--MALLS

Whoa. Two days in a row? This is crazy, but I'm just in a Jersey mood, folks, so here we go!

New Jersey has a lot of malls. Within half an hour of my home, I can think of the Bergen Mall (or whatever it's called now), Garden State Plaza, Jersey Gardens, Willowbrook, Wayne Towne Center, Paramus Park, Livingston Mall, Rockaway, not to mention multiple strip malls and big stores on the highways. Now, you might think this is silly. You might even say, "But Dave, how is this a good thing? It's a mall."

Well I will ask you back, what is America built on? Capitalism. Commerce. Buying stuff. Stuff you need, and stuff you don't need. Also, malls create JOBS, and in this economy... you need a job.

Why?

So you can buy stuff.

And where can you get that stuff? New Jersey. That's right. You need it, we got it. Sitting right here, just minutes from you door. You can go out and buy a dress, get a cinnabon, leave that mall go to another one, have some Long John Silver's fish, buy a book (at an Indie, some malls have 'em, oh yeah in Jersey---Styertowne Shopping Center is one that does!!!), leave again, hit a TGIFriday's and then check out LIDs. I'm excited and broke just thinking about it.

We have Macy's, Sterns, Lord and Taylor's--ALL IN ONE PLACE! We have kiosks, cell phones, people asking you to fill out surveys and take your time away. It's all very, very important. And very, very America.

And how does that compare to Kansas (#16)? A quick Yahoo search shows that there are only TEN malls in Kansas. Now that information may be false, but it only has ten malls that rate a Yahoo search? I just named eight malls within a half hour from my house?

So I ask you, what is Kansas doing to promote capitalism? Nothing, they're just a bunch of kids shooting basketballs outside their homes dreaming of hitting that game winning shot. They're fixing their trucks. They're watching football.

The American Dream. Feh. Dreaming never works if you're not doing something about it!

They're not helping out the economy.

That's where NJ comes in. We help out. We dream and we do.



Plus this song by John Gorka, which contains one of my favorite lines: "I'm from New Jersey, I don't expect too much. I'm from New Jersey, if the world ended today, I would adjust."

New Jersey: The Promised Land--Embroidery

Every once in a while someone asks me if they can use my blog to help promote their book. I don't mind as long as they come up with a reason why New Jersey is the promised land. Marshall Karp, a former New Jersey-ite, and author of the very funny FLIPPING OUT agreed. And his take on NJ is out there. Of course I'll have my take after his post. Enjoy!


Every now and then, I make a deal with the devil. In this case the devil is Dave White, and the deal was that if I wrote one of his New Jersey is Better Than blogs, he’d pimp my new book Flipping Out. Well maybe he said he’d review it, but once you’re coughing up a blog gratis for another writer, you pretty much assume he’s going to publicly wet his pants over it.

Which bring us to Jersey.

I grew up there. From age 4 to 22 I lived in a little town that was annoyingly named West New York. West New York, New Jersey — an identity crisis with its own zip code. West New York, along with the adjacent town, Union City was (and still is) the center — the pulse — of one of the most exciting industries in America.

Embroidery.

How many sweltering summer days did I sit in my Aunt Gizzi’s yarn factory in West New York, slicing the remaining thread off industrial sized spools with a single edge razor blade, so they could be recycled and rewound with fresh yarn? These are the kinds of events that shape a young man’s life. And that’s the kind of summer fun a lot of lucky young kids can still look forward to. But only if they live in Jersey.

Oh sure, maybe it could happen for a few well-connected kids who live in Switzerland, but I’ll tell you where it can’t happen. Iowa.

And that’s the state I drew in the New Jersey Is Better Than lottery. Did I luck out or what? Iowa? Do they even have factories in Iowa? What do their kids do on a hot summer’s day — wander through the cornfields? Puh-leze. All that sunshine. It’s like Summer Camp for Future Melanoma victims.

When it comes to industry, New Jersey kicks Iowa’s ass. That smell on the Jersey Turnpike? Chemicals, baby. Six billion bucks worth. And what about pharmaceuticals and the biomedical industry? They don’t make Valium, Vioxx, and Viagra in Iowa.

What they have in Iowa is corn. Jersey has corn too, but it’s roasted, buttered, popped, or frittered — not distilled down so you can put it in your gas tank. And Jersey has tomatoes. The best tomatoes. Are tomatoes better than corn? I don’t know — try walking into a diner and ordering a bacon, lettuce, and corn sandwich.

A few weeks ago Iowa got something that Jersey doesn’t have yet. They legalized gay marriage. Before you get all PC and say, well that trumps Jersey, let’s take a closer look. So let’s say you’re gay and you live in Iowa. You get married and you decide you really want to spend your honeymoon on the beach, frolicking in the ocean, body surfing on the waves. Where the hell does a newlywed gay couple go for that in Iowa? Let’s see — New Jersey has 130 miles of beautiful coastline. You want to know how many miles of coastline Iowa has? Zero. Looks like the best time to get married in Iowa is October, and you can spend your honeymoon wandering aimlessly through a corn maze.

I think it’s pretty clear here that New Jersey leaves Iowa in the dust. It’s also pretty clear that I have held up my end of the bargain. And now, I’m going to leave lots of room for Dave White to write about my latest book. His topic: Why Flipping Out is better than The DaVinci Code.

Embroidery? Wow, I never would have thought of that one on my own! But that being said, NJ is the embroidery capital of the world. We don't mess around. Our shirts and pants are properly embroided and decorated. We make kids' blankets and stocking for Christmas like nobody's business.

Iowa (#15), however, what do they do? They Bedazzle! There's no skill involved in Bedazzling.

So take my word for it.... New Jersey is great for its embroidery skills!

Official Dave White is Awesome Day (Take 3)

Tomorrow marks the third annual Official Dave White is Awesome Day.

What is this special day, you ask?

Well it is the day we recognize Dave White's Year Round Awesomeness. That's right, an official day!

How did this holiday start?

It came from meek beginnings. An empty day on the calender in April back in 2007 suddenly marked as "Official Dave White is Awesome Day." The rumors began, "Well Dave White is awesome, so why not recognize his awesomeness on one special day a year."

Last year was a bit low key, but people started to notice. It was then declared that ODWiAD should be celebrated on the 3rd Thursday in April yearly. Why? To bring some joy into people's hearts. Spring is starting to pop through the clouds, people are optimistic, and they want to recognize awesomeness. This day is for them.

Now it even has its own acronym in ODWiAD (pronounced Odd Wad).

How to celebrate:

Have a drink. Beer, gin and tonic, water, Jameson, Gatorade. Anything but soda. In years past, I've been given a six pack of beer. Feel free to send one along, if you wish.

Reflect on the year.

Read or purchase my books.

Common misconceptions:

"So this is the only day you're awesome?"

-No, it is quite clear I'm awesome year round. However, one day is official placed aside to recognize it. That's why it's OFFICIAL Dave White is Awesome Day and not just Dave White is Awesome Day.

"Is it okay to play hooky from work?"

-I am not. I want to be able to spend the day with the people I spend it with daily. We can celebrate together and enjoy the moment. However, if you use this as an opportunity to call in sick, let me know how that goes over.

"You're going to get your ass kicked for this."

-No. I don't think I am.

I think that's it. Any other questions about this day, leave them in the comments section and I'll get back to you.

Happy Official Dave White is Awesome Day!

God, I Love Jon Stewart

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Good book I've recently read

THE SCARECROW by Michael Connelly: Jack McEvoy is back! The hero from THE POET is trying to write one last, great story before leaving the paper he works at. Of course the last story involves a murder, a serial killer, the FBI, and Las Vegas. This is a typical Connelly novel, fast paced and full of emotion. McEvoy is well drawn. I enjoyed it.

LIFE SENTENCES by Laura Lippman: Laura really outdoes herself here. A novel about memory, publishing, and crime, the story really is emotional. There are some great characters here, especially the main character's father Cedric Fallows. I really don't want to say too much about this book, because you need to experience it for yourself.

The New Yankee Stadium and a team preview

I watched a preseason baseball game last night. I never watch preseason baseball, but this one was special. It was the opening of the new Yankee Stadium, and you can't not watch that.

My initial impression: Weird. The stadium looked weird. The original Yankee Stadium looked beat up. It looked worn down, and ready to pack it in, but man, when the post season came around it looked like it was brand new. It was magical. The new one looks cleaner, more state of the art. It looks like all the other baseball stadiums. Though I must say, it does have a bit of Yankee charm. Maybe the fans can bring back the magic.

Now I need to see it in person for a true interpretation.

As for the new team...

I expect much of the same as we've seen before, offensively. The ability to blow out people 15-2 on a nightly basis. But the question is going to be what happens when they're down 2-1 in the 7th or 8th inning. Will the new players be able to step up and get that clutch hit? Is Texiera a clutch guy? What about Nady or Swisher?

And what does A Rod do when he comes back? I think he'll be fine.

Starting pitching:

Wooo! I love the two new pitchers. There's always a chance that CC Sabathia got worn down last year, but he's not going to have to be a superstar every night. He has a good bullpen behind him. AJ Burnett, if he can stay healthy, is going to be a big game pitcher. Plus you have a healthy Wang, Pettite, and Joba. Should be a good team.

So what do I think? I think we'll see a marked improvement. This team missed the playoffs last year, and I don't see that this year. They might be a wild card team--I don't know enough about Boston or Tampa Bay right now--but they will be in the playoffs.

Beyond that? Who knows?