Vacation

Off to Cancun for the week.

Don't miss me too much.

Something happier

After all that fear of flying talk, I wanted to comment on the video of the day. It's been posted on Twitter and Facebook about 8000 times today. And well, it's just so much fun, isn't it?

Some observations:

-I have no rhythm. And yet, I have more rhythm that most of the guys dancing down the aisle.

-Look at the expression on the faces of some of the groomsmen. It's that uncomfortable laugh and smile on their faces. They don't want to do this. In fact, can you imagine the moment the bride and groom broached this subject. "Yeah, so listen... at the church... we want to break out some Chris Brown..." Must have been a lot of alcohol involved here.

-I'm 90% sure this entire scene was choreographed by this girl. In fact, I'm surprised she's not all over twitter and facebook and her blog taking credit for it. I mean, seriously, is this not right up here alley?

-Scratch that. I'm taking credit for this. I have posted this here before, but I am one of the best people to have in your wedding party. I am involved in the best entrances.

-There are only two realy good parts of this video. Obviously the first two girls who walk down the aisle. They have prepared. They know what they're doing. The second is the revelation of the bride. That had to be pretty cool, getting that ovation.

-The worst part of this video? From now on, every wedding you go to is going to have some homogenized, planned, and not-spontaneous version of this. What works about this is the surprise. Seriously who expected this? Especially at the church? Nice work, couple. But now.... all of us going to weddings have to put on that "Oh, this. Wow, you guys are sooooo silly" smile on our faces and clap like we hadn't seen it a million times on YouTube.

-At the same time, this couple has upped the stakes. If you're going to do something like this, you better start getting creative. Come up with something new. That means Chris Brown and Michael Jackson are out. What are you going to do, engaged couples...? WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO??

Flying Stories

I've written about it before here. I hate to fly. I'm terrified of it. Like full on--days before flying--knees shaking panic attacks. Can't sleep. Tightness in the chest. Obsessive thinking about it. Imagining things that can go wrong.

People who fly all the time... who are used to it or worse LIKE IT, don't understand this. To them it's just like any other mode of transportation. They don't worry about it.

And when you tell people about your fear, they have two responses.

1) "You'll be fine." They say this as if a light bulb is going to click on in my head and I'm going to say, "Oh. You're right. What have I been thinking all this time?" Nope, doesn't work like that. You're better off looking at me when I tell you and saying, "Oh. Well that sucks."

2) They tell you about the worst flight they've ever had. I've heard stories of a plane in San Fran that had a bomb scare on it. I've heard about an engine going out on a plane and the plane flew to Hawaii only a few hundred feet over the water. I've heard stories about the landing gear on a plane not working until the last minute. I've heard about sliding down the inflatable slide. I've heard about bumpy flights, 300 hundred foot drops in wind pockets (wind pockets? I don't think those exist).. I've even had someone tell me that in this year of the Chinese Calender, it's the year of the plane crash.

This doesn't help. This doesn't make me feel better. This scares me. This makes me think about every possible thing that can go wrong.

Don't do this.

What helps?

I played around with a "Fear of Flying" website. Did you know that 96% of people survive airplane accidents? And 56% survive "serious" accidents?

It also talks about security issues, new ways to make flying safe and things like that.

Am I still freaking out? Yes. But now I have something to think about that'll calm me down.

Amazing Spider-man #600

One of my earliest memories is my dad taking me to a convenience store on Valley Road to buy a comic book. The issue was Amazing Spider-man #275. Spider-man vs. the Hobgoblin. Peter Parker was about to give up being Spider-man. He was telling Mary Jane how he became Spider-man (in fact, the issue included a reprint of Amazing Fantasy #15). There was a moment, when the Hobgoblin kidnaps someone close to Parker, and Peter isn't going to help. There were other superheroes out there. And Mary Jane is shocked. She yells at Peter, "Where's your sense of responsibility now?"

Two pages later, Spider-man showed up and tried to save the day. My younger self loved that moment. I probably cheered when my dad read it to me. I still smile thinking of that issue (rue the fact that it ended in a cliffhanger and I missed the next issue...)

Since then I've always followed Spider-man. I may not have bought all the comics, but I always knew what was going on. The Clone Saga. Venom. Maximum Carnage. Spider Totems. And One More Day. The death of Aunt May (#400)... the re-appearance of May.

Today, the 600th issue arrived.

It's a HUGE issue... 104 pages long, including a 64 page main story. That story revolves around the marriage of Aunt May, and Spider-man trying to get the groom to the wedding. Of course, Dr. Octopus shows up and tries to disrupt the scenario, by taking over New York. There's a huge cliffhanger at the end. It's a typical Spider-man story.

But man is it fun. There are wisecracks. There's angst. There's action. Guest stars. Pure melodrama.

The new writers have gotten Spidey right. Forget One More Day. The story may have been odd (to say the least) but it got Spider-man here. These guys know what makes the character tick. They know what'll make you cheer, and what'll make you smile. And that's what Spidey's always been about. Adrenaline, action, and fun.

Well done, Marvel. It was well worth my money.

The Trade Deadline

The Major League baseball trade deadline is one of my favorite times of year.

I'm off from school so I have time to scour the sports pages and read all the trade rumors. It's a fun time to listen to sports talk radio and trying to figure out who to send to another team to get their superstar.

This trade deadline appears to be extremely interesting.

1) Roy Halladay--The best pitcher in baseball is on the block. He's an ace, he pitches complete games, and if he goes to a contender, he's going give them a leg up on the World Series. So, where does he go? Conventional wisdom has Halladay traded out of the division, most likely into the NL. The front runners are Philly or the Cards. Both teams have the players to give up, and the money. But watch out for the Yankees. Cashman is saying he's not going to make a deal. He wants to fix the fifth starter problem from within. But at the same time, rumors persist that he's asked the Blue Jays for a Yankees "right to match" phone call... meaning before the Jays deal Halladay, they should call the Yankees and give them a chance to beat the deal. It reminds me a lot of the Teixiera signing this summer. PREDICTION: Halladay to the Phillies.

2) Yankees--The Yankees are always trade deadline players. They have their nose in on Halladay, they have a hole in their rotation, and a possible hole in the outfield (I'm not sure I trust Swisher). I expect the team to do something. It's possible they agree to take on all of Vernon Wells contract in order to get Halladay at a cheaper price. Could solve two problems. My guess is they get a pitcher, but not as big a name. Prediction--Eric Bedard for Montero, Cabrera, and a pitching prospect not on the major league roster.

3) The Red Sox--When the Yankees move, so do the Sox. The Sox need a hitter. They have a lot of injuries or players who need time off (Drew, Lowell) in their offense, and while Ortiz has found his stroke lately, I'm not sure if the team thinks he can keep it up. They also have a hole at short stop. PREDICTION: They make a major run at Victor Martinez (to play first) and don't get him. End up with Jack Wilson to play short stop for a lesser prospect.

Other possible names to be moved: Matt Holliday, George Sherrill, Chad Qualls, and Adam Dunn.

What do you think's going to happen with your team?

Soccer Futbol Football

David Beckham is back in the US.

And with him comes a lot of talk on the sports stations about whether or not soccer will ever become popular in the US.

It won't.

Why? Two reasons.

A lot of people say soccer is boring. I don't think that's true. Soccer tends to be very exciting in spots. The problem is it's not compelling. Games end in ties too often. And when they don't, there are penalty kicks to decide the games. This was a problem hockey had. Penalty kicks are boring when they happen all the time. You want to decide a game with penalty kicks in the regular season? Fine. But not in the playoffs.

In the playoffs let them play. I don't care how big the field is (I'm not calling it a pitch... that's another problem all together... but one easily solved. Call it a field.). I don't care how tired the players are. Let them keep going. Because that's what makes the game compelling. Every movement has to matter. And too often in soccer it doesn't. Look what hockey does in the playoffs. They keep playing. Each slide of the skate becomes important. That's what soccer needs.

The other problem is injuries. Actually, allow me to put that in quotations so you can note my sarcasm. The other problem is "injuries." Get rid of injury time. That'll stop all that flopping. I was actually watching a few minutes of a game a few weeks ago. A team was down by a goal, time was running out and the ball was near the trailing team's goaltender. A defender was on the ground rolling in the grass like he'd been shot. The announcers start flipping out about the pain he must be in. The trainers run out and help him off the field.

And then the instant replay comes on.

No one was near this guy. You're lucky an offensive player was in the frame. Nothing happened to him, he just fell. The best part? The announcers are raving about how he got clipped, and must soooooo hurt.

NO HE WASN'T!

I immediately turned the game off.

Fix these two problems, soccer. And the rest will follow. People are willing to learn the rules. People will be willing to follow your stars.

But you need to make the games compelling. You need to clean up the fakeness to it.

Will soccer ever compare to baseball or football (real football, no soccer futbol) in the US?

No.

But it might start getting a hockey-like following.

A network deal.

Some buzz.

Thoughts?

New Jersey: The Promised Land--Crime & Danger

In 2008, the second most dangerous city in the world was Camden. In the past few years, it has been as high as #1 and as low as #5. I am proud of this fact. We are one of the wealthiest states in the nation. We are one of the most densely populated nations in the state. We have a lot of things to hang our hat on.

It is clear we are also one of the most dangerous.

Camden normally tops the list. Route 21, which runs from Newark to Passaic is often called the stolen car highway. In Paterson, Joe Clark famously ran Eastside high school with a megaphone and baseball bat. Jersey City just had a wild shootout last night.

New Jersey is dangerous. We're like the badboy at the bar. The girl knows he's no good for her, but she can't take her eyes off of him. She thinks she can change him. But she can't.

You don't mess with New Jersey.

Compare this to Maryland (#20). THE WIRE did a good job of building up Baltimore as this dangerous, crime ridden city. Where does it fall on the list of dangerous cities? TWELFTH. Please, a Camden crook would laugh at Omar... and then steal his money. There's no way a Camden criminal would let a (SPOOOILLLERRRSSSS) kid take him out. In fact, if I remember correctly, a bunch of the dealers in THE WIRE often had to go to NJ...Baltimore has the water front... all those cool restaurants that Tess Monaghan goes to. Camden... they have an aquarium. WITH SHARKS.

And please, the rest of Maryland? Pretty safe. Pretty plain. You don't hear Stevie Nicks singing a song called "Glen Ridge."

New Jersey, the bad boy of the nation. Another sign that we are the promised land. We encompass everything.

Summer Time Songs

Well, it's the middle of July, the sun is shining, the Coronas are being passed out by the bucket, baseball is on the TV, and there is cheesy music on the radio.

I am far from a music snob, and I hardly ever bash what people are listening to. (Okay, that's not true, but when I bash it, it's in a loving way.) And everyone has a favorite summer song. You know the ones: the catchy beat, the hook you can't get out of you head, and the fact that you're singing it is something you'd never let your friends know.

Well, my blog reading friends, I'm about to give you a gift. I'm going to tell you all about my favorite summer cheese song.

"Girlfriend" by Avril Levigne.

That's right, "Hey, hey, you, you... I don't like your girlfriend."

And as it always happens, I absolutely loathed this song when it first came out. I was mocking it, singing it with fake lyrics that were supposed to be funny. Making fun of it with friends. And I kept singing it. Because, like that mouse you can't catch, it keeps rattling around. I'd be sleeping, and I subconsciously hear it... hey hey you you...

Then I saw the video. Pure, unadulterated lameness. Avril playing both the hated girlfriend, with her nerdy glasses and sweater, trying to ruin the boyfriend's day on their very special date. And Avril also as the bad/cool girl, messing with the bitchy girl. I couldn't take my eyes off the screen... hey hey you you...

And then you're at a bbq, and late in the night, that song comes on... and you find yourself singing it with all your friends... But not ironically. You're singing it because it's fun. HEY HEY YOU YOU...

Then, when you wake up the next morning, you're still singing it. You hear it in the car and you pump it. The song comes on and you smile. HEY HEY YOU YOU...

And then it's your favorite. You can't help it. You never admit to liking it. But you have to watch the video when it's on. You refuse to turn off the radio when that drum and bass line kick in.

So, come on, out there... What's your favorite summer cheese song? I just bared my soul to you.

New Jersey: The Promised Land--Accents

Ouside of NJ, people make fun of our accents. People talk about how we say Joisey (which I don't, the r must be pronouced) or cawfee (seriously what's co-ffee?).

Good.

I'm glad NJ has its own accent. It makes us unique. We stand out. People know what a Jersey accent sounds likes. It's recognizable. It's not like we blend in, disappear... we'd never get the Grail... silently. We'd kick butt.

Our accent represents a hardboiled attitude. Never say die. You think it sounds stupid? Who cares? We'll overcome it. Just like everything else. We rule. We don't sound plain. We stand out. And the accent? It's all ours.

Not like Maine.

Do they have accents in Maine (#19)? Yeah, but it's a BOSTON accent. Or close to it. No one says to people from Jersey have New York accents. Maine steals their accent from from a metropolis. Jersey lends their accent to New York.

Maine people live in their huts and get their lobsters and root for Sawx and pahk their cah. Just like Boston.

In Jersey... we do it different. We influence. We are not influenced.

We are the promised land.

The Cow and the Milk

There's been a lot of talk about giving away content for free lately. Authors, I've heard, should give away their stories and their books for free to build an audience. There are many sites which do this. You can Google them if you'd like.

I have no problem with this. In fact, I think it's a good idea.

Give away stories, give away novels, give away podcasts. It's a great way to build an audience, sure. I've picked up tons of free books in my day and it's introduced me to many of my favorite authors. Guys who's later books I've shelled out countless dollars for.

The problem lies when authors giveaway content and then try to sell the same content. If I get a book for free, I'm unlikely to go out and buy that book. You want to give something away, great. But if you then want me to buy something, it better be different.

Lou Lamoriello, General Manager of the New Jersey Devils, was at one point head of the Nets as well. Before he took over, the Nets had a bad habit of giving away tickets and never selling out seats. The moment Lou took over, he ended that process, believing you can't sell something that you're willing to give away.

The same goes for the recent trend of pumping up Amazon sales with a small press or self-published book. Weekly I get on Facebook, and as I'm about to update my status for the seventh time that day about what I'm going to have for dinner, or my exact latitude and longitude at that moment, there's someone else telling me I have to go on Amazon at this exact moment and buy some book to pump up its sales rank on Amazon.

Apparently it's a plan to show New York publishers they can get people to buy their book. And sometimes it works. (Mostly because if you get 300 people to buy your book in one day, it's going really mess with the sales rank. Hell, 30 people over 2 hours is probably going to put you up pretty high, numbers wise.)

But I have a question about that... let's say the person sells their book to a big time publisher. What are the odds the author is going to get someone who ALREADY bought the book to buy it again?? It cuts into sales. It's very hard to sell and re-sell a book without some form of new content. An introduction. A new short story sequel in the back of the book.

You have to give the customers something new.

Now, I don't have a Bookscan account or sales numbers in front of me. I could be dead wrong. A free book followed by trying to sell the same book may work. These books may be selling like gangbusters.

I know there's some great stuff out there. Seth Harwood is out there doing it, and he's written a quality novel. From what I understand, so has Scott Sigler is a bestseller according to his website. David Wellington too.

But each one of them is giving free content that is different as well. Harwood has the great Crimewav website, for example.

So, what's the solution?

First, write a good book. No publisher is going to buy a crappy self-published book, no matter how well you bumped the Amazon numbers. And no reader is going to buy it either.

Second, I think publishing has to think about giving away a first book for free. Draw an audience in that way. THEN, sell the second, and the third. Sell NEW content.

(For example, I've given lots of stories away for free. You can check most of them out @ Thrilling Detective. If you like what you read, you can purchase either of my books in the sidebar.)

Will it happen in publishing? I don't know.

Will the attempts to sell the same thing three times over continue? Probably.

Again, I don't have sales numbers. I could be way off. But, as a consumer, I think it's common sense. If I can get the milk for free... I'm not going to buy the cow.

What do you think?

The Dave and Krewer Show--Episode 2

Click here for Episode Two--"Sports Guys"--featuring an interview with Ed Champion.

Or download it on iTunes! Please subscribe!

Big thanks to Brian Witte for the logo!