New Jersey: The Promised Land--Drivers

In New Jersey, people don't really know how to drive. You may be able to zip along for about ten miles, and then bam, you're stopped in a bottleneck or unannounced construction or someone just decided to hit their brakes because "Hey! That's a cool billboard." People go slow in the fast lane, fast in the slow lane, don't always use their blinker, don't pay attention to traffic signals, and love to keep you from where you're going.

But Dave, you're probably saying right now, I thought you loved New Jersey. Isn't this a bad thing?

No. It's a good thing. You know why? Because any good New Jersey drives now have great reflexes and great instincts. When NJ drivers go out, they're ready for anything. Stop short? Easy? Pass from the wrong lane? Easy. You go out and you know how to use your brake, how to use your gas pedal and how to flip people off. You are training to drive in the trenches. You may curse a lot, but you're ready.

Compare this to Ohio (#34). I drove in Ohio once. I was on an interstate highway, and people were following traffic laws. It was amazing. Everyone passed on the left and used their turn signals. It was weird. I didn't really know how to react. All I knew was, suddenly I was going 90 mph and a cop was on my tail. I got a ticket. Now, granted, it's my fault, but the state sucks. They're so plain Jane that they don't even attempt to be daring. They don't zig zag, they don't cut corners... they're just... square. What interesting thing has happened in Ohio? NOTHING.

So boring.

In NJ, you never know what you're going to get. The drivers prove that.