Traditional Post: Why I hate the Olympics

I held off until after the Olympics were over so I could go through my list after catching some of the coverage.

So, why do I hate the Olympics? Mostly it has to do with NBC, but the Olympics follows a formula as well, and that formula helps me be annoyed too.

1) The Olympics are put together and marketed as sports for people who don't like sports. I don't care about flag dancing or figuring skating or cross country skiing or skiing and shooting. There's nothing to watch there. Oh look, he went by slowly. Oh, he picked up a gun and fired it. Oh okay, he moved off slowly again. Nope, not a sport. An athletic achievement? Yes. But not a sport. Therefore, no competition, no tension. Just slow moving nonsense.

2) The personal stories. Because the athletic events are so boring, NBC has to pump them up with personal stories about the athletes. And they are never EVER heartwarming and happy. These people are beaten by their parents, abandoned as children, had deaths in their family, children with horrible diseases. It's not good enough to be great in your sport, you have to have a tragic past as well. Most of these athletes would be serial killers if they didn't go into their event. You never hear a story about a guy who was good at a sport, grew up well adjusted, and then won. Maybe Michael Phelps, but even then the media decided to tear him down.

3) The banishment of sports. I was looking for the first USA hockey game last week and I put on NBC. What did I find? A weatherman sitting with Bob Costas holding a pitcher full of ice and pouring water over it. "This is what happens when rain hits ice," he said. I. Don't. Care. I couldn't find the hockey game. It was buried on a cable network I'm lucky to get. Not to mention the game started at 3 in the afternoon. On a Tuesday. Why do you hide professional sports, NBC? Why don't you put them on regular TV? They would garner ratings.

4) Mary Carillo. I cannot stand this woman. All she does is tour the country the Olympics are in and try stuff different from the US. She makes jokes about it that are never funny. NEVER. FUNNY. She adds nothing to the games. In fact, she takes away from the games, because they focus on her instead of hockey.

5) Pros in sports. DO YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES? Not anymore. I cannot take a team win as a serious upset when there are professional players on the teams. Amateurs make it interesting. Pros make it dominent. And dominence is rarely compelling. (Though hockey managed to be this year, admittedly.)

6) Tragedies. There is always a tragedy at the Olympics. And it gets endless coverage. People, can we--for one year--stay safe out there?

7) The controversies. This judge was Canadian, so he picked a Canadian winner. Everyone hates Russians. We're American so we get judged harder. SHUT UP! Lose with class. You lost, big whoop. It happens. Stop whining about it. Otherwise you sound like Bobby Gonzalez. And believe me, you don't want that.

UGH. I hate the Olympics.